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Stories of My Life

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animals

More Goat Problems

I have always really loved goats. A lot. Perhaps, because I spent many summer’s in Door County when I was growing up. Anyone who’s been there can tell you about the restaurant with the grass roof and the little goat ladder. The place has freaking goats that climb all over the roof and it’s amazing!!!! Maybe it’s just that feeling you get when you look into a goat’s eyes and are met with that soothing and completely vapid expression.

Continue reading “More Goat Problems”

My Civil Union

Have I not told any stories for a month? Oops… I’ve done a million things. Most of them relatively average. WHAT?! I know… Being a grown up is exhausting.

Ummm things I have done…I attended the air and water show in Chicago. It was very crowded,  incredibly hot, rather sandy, and much too loud. I had several adult beverages and drunkenly lamented my deceased dog’s butthole (I didn’t realize until my dog died that the only photo I had of her was of… well…the back and not the front). Perhaps it’s poetic justice that my ass was bitten by a spider at a BBQ the following evening. It could also be entirely unrelated. The results of the formal investigation are still pending.

I guess the most interesting thing I did in recent history was get married. Maybe that’s a story? I didn’t exactly get real married but it was technically more official than my last pretend wedding, as it did involve legally binding paperwork. Continue reading “My Civil Union”

The Origin of my Animal Problem

In case you hadn’t noticed, I have posted at least 2 stories about times I acquired strange pets without considering the consequences and have promised more.

I have a legitimate animal problem. If I see an creature, I want to care for it. I want it to come home and live with me forever and I start daydreaming about the wonderful life my bizarre animals and I will live together. It occurred to me when writing about my elementary school that there is a pretty obvious explanation for what I have deemed my “animal problem.”

Continue reading “The Origin of my Animal Problem”

The Time I Procured A Guinea Pig

 So we purchased a guinea pig, a cage, and a starter kit with all of the food and accessories we would need to care for this creature. Wonderful. What a fantastic decision. Now all we had to do was take it home…. where was home?? Where were we? Where was the bus stop?? Oh man can you bring a live animal and a giant animal crate on the CTA? How far did we travel? What time was it? Oh my god we must be at least an hour out of the city…

Continue reading “The Time I Procured A Guinea Pig”

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